Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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