he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
