i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
