Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
