ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
