You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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