I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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