Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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