SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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