Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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