I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i've created a new STD.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
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