Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
