i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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