Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
