It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
