the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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