did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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