I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
