Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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