just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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