you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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