I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Having a random hookup so left but love u
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
