I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
