No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit