i barfeds in our rink
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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