I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
