So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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