in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
