I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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