I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
