I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
