I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
My first STD was from a foam party
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
