Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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