i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
