she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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