Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
