me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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