I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
