I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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