i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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