I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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