so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
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You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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