There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
