we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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