Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
