so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
