He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
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He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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