So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
