What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
