Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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