wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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