Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
