Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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