So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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