you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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