You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
