My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
