The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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