so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
