Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
This is the high leading the old right now
He's a Shit stain on my heart
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
