NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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