dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We got so high we made milksteak
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
