just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
