i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
