I just threw up on my dentist
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
