All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
