he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
