Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
