Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
