Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
